Lost In Translation's "SCREW THESE FORUMS FOR CLOSING" Post-Draft Mock Draft(YUP)

[LosT_in_TranSlatioN]

I know what you're thinking.

 

"Lost, it's incredibly stupid to do a mock draft AFTER the draft actually happened. And it's clearly not a 2018 mock draft." I'm telling you what happened and I have to reveal my identity to everyone right now.

 

WELL SCREW YOU. I do what I want!. But something peculiar happened to me recently that has allowed me to change past events... And use the power of hindsight to change our draft. 

 

"My name is Bill Murray, and I'm the Fastest man alive. On April 30th the NFL draft concluded and I went on a rage induced peppermint schnapps quest where I got alcohol poisoning and supposedly died. However, my corpse was struck by lightning and made me the impossible. Using these powers I will go back in time knowing what we know now, and mock us WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE DONE." 

 

*****this is entirely meant as a joke, for the most part I like the players we drafted. But the forums are closing. Seriously, screw you admin.... While I'm at it... **********

Admin, what the hell are you thinking? You're going to eliminate the best form of communication out there among the fans. I've lived out of Baltimore for the past 8 years, and frankly it's gotten lonely football wise. Niners fans are idiots and Broncos fans are too high to even carry a discussion.. The other messages boards are horrible, and this is the only one where I've learned anything. @-Truth- has significantly helped me in my growth as a scout, @BmoreBird22(even though I've had problems with you in the past) is very knowledgeable about coverages and has helped me learn a ton. Likewise, @The Raven has helped me out with oline stuff(even if he probably thinks I'm terrible, most should. I suck). And so on and so forth. Screw you admin for making honestly the dumbest decision possible! This forum was a brilliant way to bring several ravens fans from all over the globe together and allowing us to have productive discussion. I don't need to go on FB where idiot ravens fans will argue that us not drafting Joe Mixon at 16 was a mistake. Just no. For so many reasons. You're contributing to the dumbing down of societal norms, and putting the damn mods out of a job. I hope that you come to your damn senses and make the right decision into not closing the boards. I have spent way too much time on here in the past, but this forum has been a GREAT environment to discuss football in. Yet, you keep the utterly toxic comments section from the articles. Just smh on so many levels.

(this is a sneak preview as to what's to come). 

 

Anyway. LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED. 

 

I, as the new GM of the Ravens am going to make some changes. 

 

Round One: Jonathan Allen, DL, Alabama

I'm a student at the University of Colorado at Boulder. But I can't resist an elite talent when I see one. If Allen's shoulder concerns are not as bad as most think they are, than this pick is going to be a freaking steal. I really like Marlon Humphrey the player, but I think a healthy Allen is a potential future all pro. We need to get nasty again on the defensive line and get an interior rush, and Allen is easily the best player avaliable. 

 

Round Two: Tyus Bowser, OLB, Houston

"But Lost, this is the same as before". Well screw you. I liked this pick a lot. 

Ultimately, a few of these picks are going to stay the same(for fear of getting murdered by @rmw10)... Bowser is obviously one of them. Bowser is a damn good coverage LB with a lot of upside going forward. He's a chess piece with a hell of a motor and frankly. I think he was the right call here. We could play him anywhere along the LB position, and frankly... The less we use Correa the better. 

 

Round Three: Fabian Moreau, CB, UCLA.

Moreau is a good consolation for not getting Humphrey. Ultimately, Humphrey is a better player, but I would love the value here. Moreau has the potential to be a very good corner at the NFL level and his problems are very coachable. Ultimately, I think this still fulfills a need. 

 

Round Three part deux: Time Williams, OLB, Alabama.

Do I really need to explain this pick here? Steal of the draft. Top 20 talent that we got in the middle of the third round. Potential future all pro at rusher. 

 

Round Four: Nico Siragusa, OG, SDSU

Final pick to stay the same. Think this was excellent value as I had him going a whole round earlier personally. Great pick. Helps beef up the offensive line

 

TRADE. The Ravens trade a 2018 6th round pick and Carl Davis and their fifth rounder to move up to the first pick of the fifth Round.

 

Round Five: Jake Butt, GOAT, Michigan

I mean.. At least he ended up in Colroado in real life. Seriously. He shouldn't have fallen this far from a talent perspective. He comes in immediately and potentially starts at the TE spot when he becomes fully healthy. What a steal.  

 

Round Six: Ejuan Price, OLB,  Pitt

We shall walk off the podium while giving the Pittsburg steelers fans the finger because we selected a good pass rusher from their home town. To quote Ozzie, "you can never have too many pass rushers"

 

And that's my hindsight mock, and let me say. Thank you forums for putting up with my many mocks over the years. I thought it would be fun to do this one....

 

now. Prepare for ROAST FEST 2017. Starring @LosT_in_TranSlatioN, @OriolesMagicPlease, and the archenemy of Bill Murray, Eobard Thawne... Aka @52520Andrew...(Love you Andrew. PM me before the forums close) 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed it... Or you didn't. Either way.. Screw you. 

[JoeyFlex5]

 

Me after reading this fire af thread

Edited 6 hours ago by JoeyFlex5

[rossihunter2]

happy star wars day

[RavensDieHard21]

Mock was as fire as it gets. The plot was Oscar worthy 

[SepticeyePoe]

7 hours ago, LosT_in_TranSlatioN said:

However, my corpse was struck by lightning and made me the impossible.

Did you also happen to win the lottery and go on a date with Kate Upton?