The Truth About Santa

[K-Dog]

*** Its all humor. Merry Christmas !!!!!!!!! ***

1) No know species of reindeer can fly. How ever there are over 300,000
species of living organisms yet to be classified , wile most of these are insects and
and bacteria this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer ( which only
Santa has seen )

2) There are nearly two billion children ( under the age of 18 ) in the world.
Since Santa does not seem to handle Muslim , Hindu , Jewish and Buddhist
children so this reduces his work load about 15% of the total 378 million
according to Central Emography. At a Census rate of 3.5 children , that is
91.8 million homes. We will assume there is at least one good child per home.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work , thanks to different time zones
and the rotation of the earth , of course assuming he travels east to west.
This works out to about 822.6 visits per second. That is to say for each
household with good children Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park his
sleigh , hop out of the sleigh , slide down the chimney stuff the stockings ,
distribute the remaining gifts , eat what ever snacks have been left , get
back up the chimney , get back into his sleigh and move on to the next house.
For sake of calculations we will assume the 91.8 million homes are evenly
distributed around the world. That breaks down to 78 miles per household for
a total trip of 75.5 million miles. Plus to factor in the necessary stops we all
must make in a 31 hour period. In order to accomplish this Santa must travel
at 650 miles per second. That is about 3,000 times the speed of sound

4) The pay load presents another issue. Assuming each child gets nothing more than
a medium sized Lego set ( approximately 2 pounds ) the sleigh will be carrying
321,000 tons of payload not including Santa who is always depicted as over weight.
Even granting " flying " reindeer can pull ten time the normal weight , the amount
of reindeer needed to pull the sleigh will be 214,000 reindeer. This increases the
payload , not even including the weight of the sleigh to 353,430 tons. For
comparison that is 4 times the weight of the cruse ship The Queen Elisabeth II.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance.
This will heat up the reindeer in the same manner as the Space Shuttle re-entering
the Earth's atmosphere. The lead reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy
each , per second. In short they will burst into flames almost instantaneously , exposing
the reindeer behind them , creating sonic booms in their wake. Evaporating the entire
reindeer teem in about 4.26 thousands of a second. Mean wile Santa will be subject
to centrifugal forces 17,500 times greater than the force of gravity. Santa will be pinned
to his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.


So, IF there is a Santa, he is dead.

[JonM229]

You ruined Christmas for everyone!

[MKdave]

It's worth it to know the truth, Jon.

[Man Crush on Flacco]

According to a study from some college, all of Santa's reindeer are female. As I heard on the radio on my way to my orthodontist appointment

[theFRANCHISE]

*gasp* K-Dog's the grinch who stole Christmas! You monster!!!!!

(lol)

[JonM229]

[quote name='Man Crush on Flacco' post='112014' date='Dec 23 2008, 10:01 PM']According to a study from some college, all of Santa's reindeer are female. As I heard on the radio on my way to my orthodontist appointment[/quote]
I guess that makes them more aerodynamic.

[beetus]

We seem to be forgetting that Santa is magic...

[neepo13]

Did you ever think that maybe he makes multiple trips? He could have like an underground headquarters in every city he does bussiness and he stops and picks up gifts for the next town from that headquarters. So, he's not carrying all that stuff at the same time.


Merry Christmas!

[Tighthead420]

Funny stuff! I personally liked the vaporized reindeer line...creates a great image in my head.

Once I started to question the Santa thing to my parents, I was always told that he had helpers with extra sleighs and a boatload of reindeer.


Perhaps your model could be recalculated to include sub-teams of Santa.