Why Your Team Sucks - 2013 Baltimore Ravens (joke)

[NaveSenrag]

You gotta read Brittany's comments from last years edition.


This article was funny and the fans replies were even funnier.

Last year's sucked, with the exception of a few fan comments (Brittany knocked it out of the park.)

[easternshore97]

These are really fun.  But you need to have a good sense of humor.    

I can see these infuriating a lot of (defensive) fans.  

I wonder what SteelersProphet thinks about the Steelers section

[ellicottraven]

I don't know if you guys are familiar with Deadspin's "Why Your Team Sucks" series, but basically every day till the start of the season Magary picks a team to rail on and just tears them to shreds. Its been around since 2011, I think. But anyway, it's always hilarious and this year's edition for the Ravens is great. Enjoy.
MOD NOTE: may be NSFW and profanity.
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-baltimore-ravens-1079538404

EDIT: I'm also going to include the link to the Steelers article, so we can all feel a little better and laugh at our inferiors

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-pittsburgh-steelers-1065343296

I glossed over the Ravens because as lame as I am, I couldn't take it(even knowing it is satire). However, I read and reread the Steelers version. Now, you tell me - doesn't that make me an insufferable Ravens moronic homer or what??

[SteelerEmpire]

The one about the Steelers is hilarious, but 0 so true...  :229031_rofl:

[flaccopoe]

The letters are priceless!

 

"This is a fan base that is famous for turning their back on their stars - Terry Bradshaw wanted nothing to do with the team for decades after his retirement. We booed Jerome Bettis when he struggled and tried to replace him with Amos Zereoue (who?) and Duce Staley."

[5aiah]

I glossed over the Ravens because as lame as I am, I couldn't take it(even knowing it is satire). However, I read and reread the Steelers version. Now, you tell me - doesn't that make me an insufferable Ravens moronic homer or what??

The Ravens one was 95% true and came from real sources just like many of the others.He exaggerated the Baltimore City stuff though. A lot of our money comes from tourism.Lol. 

[flaccopoe]

Ray Rice sprays his hands with WD-40 before every playoff game.

[Dewy101]

I just thought it was odd that Deadspin brought up Ray Lewis' murder case, but not Bens' rape case???

[NaveSenrag]

I just thought it was odd that Deadspin brought up Ray Lewis' murder case, but not Bens' rape case??

Ray Lewis just won the Super Bowl, while Roethlisberger hasn't made national headlines in several years.

[IH EART DA RAVENS]

The Ravens one was 95% true and came from real sources just like many of the others.He exaggerated the Baltimore City stuff though. A lot of our money comes from tourism.Lol. 

Yeah I was a little let down by ours this year to be honest, not being from Baltimore a lot of the jokes went over my head.

[RobFuseRaven]

Screw the haters. Purple camo 4 life!

[jaege]

I didn't think it was particularly funny. Not even clever really. He is just rehashing what all the talking heads have said all last season. Same for the few others I read about other teams. Not my type of humor I guess.

[TheMadRaven]

"Oh, but the team DID sign Rolando McClain to pick up some slack in the Get Arrested And Then Retire Department. "

 

ahahahaaha!

[easternshore97]

Ray Rice sprays his hands with WD-40 before every playoff game.

Dude...I already quoted that one 10 posts earlier...

 

...you're slowing up as the preseason progresses. Not good

[easternshore97]

I just thought it was odd that Deadspin brought up Ray Lewis' murder case, but not Bens' rape case???

??? They made several references to Ben doing what you described. At least I thought I read that

[ravens533]

Thanks for the laughs.