Why Your Team Sucks - 2013 Baltimore Ravens (joke)

[IH EART DA RAVENS]

I don't know if you guys are familiar with Deadspin's "Why Your Team Sucks" series, but basically every day till the start of the season Magary picks a team to rail on and just tears them to shreds. Its been around since 2011, I think. But anyway, it's always hilarious and this year's edition for the Ravens is great. Enjoy.
MOD NOTE: may be NSFW and profanity.
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-baltimore-ravens-1079538404

EDIT: I'm also going to include the link to the Steelers article, so we can all feel a little better and laugh at our inferiors

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-pittsburgh-steelers-1065343296

[BALTIMOREFLACCO]

Pretty funny.

 

The velcro/Ed Dickson thing was the best

[BirdWatcher]

OMG! This guy has been trolling our forums and listening in to our talk radio shows.

[IH EART DA RAVENS]

OMG! This guy has been trolling our forums and listening in to our talk radio shows.

Thanks for adding that joke disclaimer to the title of the threat (assuming that was you). But yeah, Drew has a scary good idea of how each team's fans act.

[BirdWatcher]

Another mod got the title.

Maybe all fanbases are more alike than we want to believe.

[NaveSenrag]

The fan comments are the best. There was a Cundiff related one in the 2012 edition that was the cruelest thing I have ever heard.

[T3hRaven]

This was pretty great, I have to read the others now.

[izvoodoo]

I really appreciate these.  They're honest, but not too scathing.  And fairly well written.

[T3hRaven]

The best part might have been the emails.  This was my favorite line: "Because the last thing we want to do when traveling to another NFL city is get into some G-d awful conversation with Donnie from Dundalk, about how bad Joe Flacco is and why Tyrod Taylor should be starting."  Yeah, someone definitely reads the forums.

[Gordo52]

Kyle Boller part had me cracking up

[beanfigger]

The Texans one was pretty good this year.

[BirdWatcher]

I really appreciate these.  They're honest, but not too scathing.  And fairly well written.

Not too scathing? He ripped us apart. Worst/best part is that it was mostly dead-on.

[AsianRice]

I felt offensive reading about the Ravens; remember we are the World Champ! beat that...

 

 

However, I love reading about the Steelers lol

[LordRavens]

Some fans can be a little ungrateful   :banana1:  :banana1:

[NaveSenrag]

That purple camo really is hideous.

[PuRock]

These are really fun.  But you need to have a good sense of humor.    

I can see these infuriating a lot of (defensive) fans.  

[PuRock]

That purple camo really is hideous.

 

Yea it is.  My older brother wanted to buy some, and I just shook my head at him.  I'm embarrassed for our fanbase when I see them on national TV.

[BirdWatcher]

That purple camo really is hideous.

I actually like it. It's pretty unique to us, though I see fans of other teams adopting it in their own colors. Both of my dogs loved their camo bandanas.

[JoeyFlex5]

lol at the daughtry/greene turtle line

[PuRock]

I actually like it. It's pretty unique to us, though I see fans of other teams adopting it in their own colors. Both of my dogs loved their camo bandanas.

 

For the dogs, makes perfect sense.

 

I wish more teams would adopt it.  Then I wouldn't have to feel so ashamed.

[5aiah]

Yeah he really tore us apart but it wasn't anything that wasn't truth. Well, aside from the part about the City(lot of exaggeration there) he was pretty much on point. Ravens Nation contributed to the article so its going to be accurate. Very funny and good writing. The Ray Lewis and steelers one was funny too. 

[Grendelwulf21]

Pretty funny and silly read, i enjoyed ours and the steelers one

[Cville-Raven]

lol at the fan regarding us as being ex redskins fans. I wouldnt be a fan of that franchise if you payed me.

[cobrajet]

It is so funny because my wife is a Steelers fan and all her family still live there. They hated rooting for the Ravens, but had to because it would have been a fate worse than death if the 49ers tied them in Super Bowl wins. God, it must have sucked for them this past season. How great would it be to put them through it again this season.  :) Go Ravens!

[flynismo]

I thought the comments were a lot funnier than the article itself; good find though

[ROH522155]

I honestly think this article sucks. Most everything is so outlandish that I just can't find it funny at all. The Ray Lewis murderer garbage has got to stop. He's not even a part of the team anymore. "RAY LEWIS IS STILL A MURDERER STABBY STAB STAB." Seriously? Sounds to me like the author needs to grow up. Plus he just throws in F-bombs where they are not necessary at all so it seems to me like the guy is 16 or 17 years old. 

 

I'm not the type to be offended by cussing or things like that so don't label me as that type of person. The cussing is just stupid and pointless here. Poorly written article. I can't see why anybody finds this stuff funny.

[easternshore97]

Just about everything was spot on...

 

I just couldn't decipher whether that was sarcasm: RE: John Harbaugh, or if they were talking about Jim Harbaugh and making it appear as though they are so similar that it's perfectly fine to mix them up. Then I realized that John does occasionally give an earful to the refs, albeit NOTHING like how he was described

 

Edit: ok there are some uncalled for statements that should have been scrubbed out

[easternshore97]

Oh my goodness Ryan's email - Ray Rice sprays his hands with WD40 before every playoff game

 

HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

[CorvusCorax]

The fan comments are the best. There was a Cundiff related one in the 2012 edition that was the cruelest thing I have ever heard.

 

You gotta read Brittany's comments from last years edition.

 

 

This article was funny and the fans replies were even funnier.

[NaveSenrag]

Just about everything was spot on...

I just couldn't decipher whether that was sarcasm: RE: John Harbaugh, or if they were talking about Jim Harbaugh and making it appear as though they are so similar that it's perfectly fine to mix them up. Then I realized that John does occasionally give an earful to the refs, albeit NOTHING like how he was described

Edit: ok there are some uncalled for statements that should have been scrubbed out

Harbs does a lot of yelling at the refs, but he's not nearly as demonstrative as his brother.