Dumb Excuses Thread

[hawkprey]

The offseason is filled with fan-wide optimism! All of it is unwarranted! These are some of my favorite yearly excuses that fans across the NFL Nation use to convince themselves that better fortune is ahead in 2013! Post yours once you've read mine!

 

 

"Another year in the system." - A dumb excuse staple! This explains why every returning player will be better than last year. Last year, we won this many games (holds hands out wide), and that was WITH our moron components bumping and miscommunicating with each other and generally 3-stooging their way around the field. Imagine how good they'll be once they get to know each other better.

 

An offshoot of this excuse, "Developing chemistry" - every receiver/QB combo is currently "developing chemistry", and about to explode onto the scene. Just you wait to see how year two of the noodle-arm-to-oven-mitts connection plays out!

 

The "end of last year" excuse. 50% of our players played better at end of last year than at the beginning. This is likely because they either "stepped up" or a lightbulb went off and they realized they were lining up facing the wrong way. Since early last year is old news, and late last year is less old news, you can expect player X's 2013 performance to resemble only the 2012 games where he happened to not suck.

 

The "shoulda won" excuse. In my estimation, 90% of games were either won by each team or should have been won by each team. The other games, lost by the Jaguars and Bills teams, provide no room for hope. But your team does! Remember that dropped pass? Or that shank wide right? Those are merely pre-armageddon 2012 flukes, and last year's "shoulda" record is clearly a better indicator for this year than the official or "bogus" win/loss record. 

 

"Getting players back from injury". Last year's starter, Shaky McGlassjoints, will be coming back from the mountaintop with his magic sack of immortality to share amongst your players. Since injuries were merely last year's problem, this year's team of god-like savants should have no problem coasting through the playoffs to hoist the Lombardi with one shattered forearm behind their backs.

 

"Focus." Last year we were just happy to be in the game. This year, our team is way more focused. Adderall focused. This is demonstrated by our team's leader spending "additional time" in the weight room/practice facility/classroom/bathroom. I'm predicting a big year for this guy. Bigger than last year, which was already big. 

 

"[Division Rivals] won't be as good this year." Are you sure? They brought in players, and the ones who weren't brought in are getting another year in the system. 

 

 

More Gametime Laughers: Those pathetic one-liners from fan folklore.

Yeah but this time'll be different.

Yeah but our team wants it more.

Yeah but Peyton Manning is wearing a glove.

Your team will be too distracted.

You can't stop the read option.

This is just going to help his development (49ers fans, on loss of #1 WR).

I have this good feeling today.

"Bulletin board material."

 

 

So, can you remember any dumb excuses you've heard? Post them here, then refer your dumb rival fans to this page when they start getting too full of themselves.

[BALTIMOREFLACCO]

The epitome of the people you mention in this thread are the Broncos fans who were on here prior to the Mile High Miracle game.

[MTRavensFan]

"The refs are all from Baltimore"

and

"The games are rigged because Goodell loves the Ravens so much"

- Broncos Country  :eyes:

[K-Dog]

I love when people use the excuse "Its raining"
Like some how BOTH teams were not in the same rain...

[Malkavian Raven]

I think that pretty much sums them all up.  Excellent post!  +Infinite

[berad]

"___ happens 9 times out of 10"

 

Yeah, well not this time!

 

Saw this a lot after Flacco beat the Steelers in Pitt in 2011 and many Steeler fans were grappling with delusion.

[SecretAgentMan]

"It was holding and YOU know it"~Niner fans

"9/10 it won't happen. This is a fluke"~Bronco fans

[SecretAgentMan]

"___ happens 9 times out of 10"

 

Yeah, well not this time!

 

Saw this a lot after Flacco beat the Steelers in Pitt in 2011 and many Steeler fans were grappling with delusion.

LOL. Just posted that for the Broncos

[berad]

LOL. Just posted that for the Broncos

 

Copier!

[SecretAgentMan]

Copier!

 

Hey, I also posted another one!

 

I actually heard those two a lot..

 

How bout another..

 

"The Ravens need to stop paying off the refs... The Real SB Champs, the Pats, don't like it"~The Pats fans

[berad]

Hey, I also posted another one!

 

I actually heard those two a lot..

 

How bout another..

 

"The Ravens need to stop paying off the refs... The Real SB Champs, the Pats, don't like it"~The Pats fans

 

Here's a Patriots one

 

"Bernard Pollard is a dirty player!" HAHA coupled with "We would have won with ___"

 

[SecretAgentMan]

Here's a Patriots one

 

"Bernard Pollard is a dirty player!" HAHA coupled with "We would have won with ___"

 

He should've signed with the Jets.... That would've been hilarious. 

[JoeyFlex5]

blaming coaches because they love the players so much.. although as a ravens this is a legit excuse obviously :)

but i can't waitttt to see a dome team or a nice weather team make it this year, and then get blasted out of the super bowl because of cold weather and watch the fans boohoo about it. honestly i would love to see nothing more than SF, HOU, MIA, ATL, SD, DAL, IND, or some other dome/warm weather team dominate the regular season then get frozen out of the SB(not that mia, sd, or dal is gonna dominate anyway, but you get the point)

[The Oakland Cathedral]

Blaine Gabbert is gonna be so good this year! He's got another year in the system and he's built up a bit more chemistry with Shorts and Lewis. Also MJD is gonna come back, not to mention they looked great at the end of last year and woulda won a few more games if they were a bit luckier. But now the Jags are focused and they are working hard all offseason so definitely a playoff contender! Oh, wait, was this not the right place for my view on the Jags?

[hawkprey]

Blaine Gabbert is gonna be so good this year! He's got another year in the system and he's built up a bit more chemistry with Shorts and Lewis. Also MJD is gonna come back, not to mention they looked great at the end of last year and woulda won a few more games if they were a bit luckier. But now the Jags are focused and they are working hard all offseason so definitely a playoff contender! Oh, wait, was this not the right place for my view on the Jags?

Really, I can see the Jags make the playoffs this year. They went 2-14, but really, they should've been more like 5-11 if not for some BS from the refs. Blackmon wasn't himself a lot last year, and he and the new draft class will be good for a few more wins over last year. Plus the Colts will be back to reality and the Titans are lol. That's like 9-7 already. Then account for  Gabbert being motivated by all those big contracts out there. Jags go 11-5 and make the playoffs. Go Jags!

 

/End of sarcasm.

[The Oakland Cathedral]

Really, I can see the Jags make the playoffs this year. They went 2-14, but really, they should've been more like 5-11 if not for some BS from the refs. Blackmon wasn't himself a lot last year, and he and the new draft class will be good for a few more wins over last year. Plus the Colts will be back to reality and the Titans are lol. That's like 9-7 already. Then account for  Gabbert being motivated by all those big contracts out there. Jags go 11-5 and make the playoffs. Go Jags!

 

/End of totally serious claim with no hints of sarcasm.

Exactly!!!!

[SecretAgentMan]

Blaine Gabbert is gonna be so good this year! He's got another year in the system and he's built up a bit more chemistry with Shorts and Lewis. Also MJD is gonna come back, not to mention they looked great at the end of last year and woulda won a few more games if they were a bit luckier. But now the Jags are focused and they are working hard all offseason so definitely a playoff contender! Oh, wait, was this not the right place for my view on the Jags?

I already called dibs on him for my FF season.

[The Oakland Cathedral]

I already called dibs on him for my FF season.

Nice move! Can you say Aaron Rodgers 2.0?

[SecretAgentMan]

Nice move! Can you say Aaron Rodgers 2.0?

Aaron Rodgers. LOL. He's in a league of his own.(Gabbert)

 

If not for those injuries he'd be a beast!

[redrum52]

This is one of the best premises for a thread. A++

[RavensAllTheWay]

1. Using miniscule sample sizes to come to conclusions.

 

2. "In order to like one guy, you have to hate the other."

 

Those are the things that REALLY piss me off... :D

[JoeyFlex5]

not a dumb excuse, but a VERY dumb reasoning here..

when we were playin denver in the playoffs, after the 1st time joe was sacked, one of the 2 girls who were there was yelling about how bad flacco sucks, and that "the black guy that played a few weeks ago was better" she didnt even know his name, and after i explained that he only led 1 scoring drive, and didnt complete a single pass on that drive, and besides that, he looked awful, and that was against a second string cinci defense, her response.. omgoodness youll never believe it.. "well thats how good he is he doesnt even need to pass it" oh my dear lord, woman.. see the door, immediately

[hawkprey]

not a dumb excuse, but a VERY dumb reasoning here..

when we were playin denver in the playoffs, after the 1st time joe was sacked, one of the 2 girls who were there was yelling about how bad flacco sucks, and that "the black guy that played a few weeks ago was better" she didnt even know his name, and after i explained that he only led 1 scoring drive, and didnt complete a single pass on that drive, and besides that, he looked awful, and that was against a second string cinci defense, her response.. omgoodness youll never believe it.. "well thats how good he is he doesnt even need to pass it" oh my dear lord, woman.. see the door, immediately

That's weird, because Joe was only sacked once that game and it was in OT. So by that time Joe would've already had 3 TDs and a rating of at least 120 against the Broncos. Maybe it was after his first incompletion or something?

 

Speaking of the Broncos,

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000207849/article/peyton-manning-broncos-excited-about-increased-zip

 

Be prepared to hear this excuse rear it's head week 1. It should be noted that literally ALL 32 TEAMS think they will have better play at the QB position this year.

[JoeyFlex5]

That's weird, because Joe was only sacked once that game and it was in OT. So by that time Joe would've already had 3 TDs and a rating of at least 120 against the Broncos. Maybe it was after his first incompletion or something?
 
Speaking of the Broncos,
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000207849/article/peyton-manning-broncos-excited-about-increased-zip
 
Be prepared to hear this excuse rear it's head week 1. It should be noted that literally ALL 32 TEAMS think they will have better play at the QB position this year.

idk something happened that they didn't like lol i just guessed a sack

[YYZ66]

That's weird, because Joe was only sacked once that game and it was in OT. So by that time Joe would've already had 3 TDs and a rating of at least 120 against the Broncos. Maybe it was after his first incompletion or something?

 

Speaking of the Broncos,

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000207849/article/peyton-manning-broncos-excited-about-increased-zip

 

Be prepared to hear this excuse rear it's head week 1. It should be noted that literally ALL 32 TEAMS think they will have better play at the QB position this year.

 

Someone has a brilliant comment for this story!   :lol:

 

So he can throw it into the opposing teams hands faster in the playoffs now.