So A Dog Walks Into A Bar....

[ROH522155]

A dog walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender realizes how silly this is, and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over and tells his wife about it, who ignores him. He begins to silently cry, knowing that his marriage is falling into shambles.


Haha I saw this on somebodys facebook and stupid as it is, I couldn't stop laughing for some reason. Haha

[Purple Nurple]

What the hell?


My best "walks into a bar" joke is.....


So Lardarius Webb walks into a bar...bartender looks up and says "Hey man, why the long face?"

[img]http://www.nationalsportsagency.net/wp-content/gallery/player-headshots/webb_lardarius09.jpg[/img]

.....because Webb has a very.....stretched....out.....fa.....forget it.

[ROH522155]

Haha I get it!

[ROH522155]

So a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a plane that is going to crash. The captain comes back with two parachutes and yells “Only one of you gets to li-”
The plane explodes in the air. No one survived.


Hahaha theyre called anti-jokes

[JonM229]

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk.
The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

[ROH522155]

[quote name='JonM229' date='30 July 2010 - 12:59 AM' timestamp='1280465969' post='440443']
An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk.
The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.
[/quote]

Hahaha I laughed out loud

[JonM229]

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.

[ed.s52]

3 guys walk into a bar....

Luckily, the 4th manages to duck in time

[ROH522155]

A shipwrecked sailor washed ashore on a desert island. He found a bottle half buried in the sand he pulled the cork. Nothing happened. It was empty and he slowly starved to death.

[JonM229]

A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

[ROH522155]

One time Chuck Norris went to EB games to buy Madden 10, but they didn't have it, so he went to Best Buy and bought it there.

[ed.s52]

A man walks into Starbucks with a labtop. As he goes on the Baltimoreravens.com forums, he realizes that since he cannot come up with funny jokes, he should right a bunch of unfunny anti-jokes for a laugh.

[ed.s52]

Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land.

[ROH522155]

[quote name='ed.s52' date='30 July 2010 - 01:20 AM' timestamp='1280467226' post='440457']
A man walks into Starbucks with a labtop. As he goes on the Baltimoreravens.com forums, he realizes that since he cannot come up with funny jokes, he should right a bunch of unfunny anti-jokes for a laugh.
[/quote]

Good one!

[JonM229]

A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger.

The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say Willytop.

The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school.

He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office.

Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy says iss Willytop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school.

Well, the boy went home to find his parents in the living room. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy says is Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house.

Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town.

Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of Willytop. What does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad.

Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

[ROH522155]

^ hahaha wow

[ROH522155]

So a blonde applies for a supervisor job at Best Buy. She has the experience and the references needed to get the job and she's hired.

[Purple Punishment]

by any chance was the dog that walked into the bar the one in my sig??

[Purple Nurple]

Jon, lol! Class.

[Malkavian Raven]

[center]

Maybe Jay should use some of these one liners to open his show -- not like it'd hurt his ratings.
[/center]

[macbrak]

a duck, a rabbi, and a man of some ethnic persuasion walk into a bar...

The bartender looks up and says hey is this some kinda joke?

[macbrak]

Q: How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A: A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

[JonM229]

A man walks into a bar with a dog that's wearing an eyepatch. He says to the bartender "Hey, ask me about my dog," but the bartender is deaf in one ear and doesn't hear him. The bartender serves a woman on the other side of the bar first and by the time he gets to him, the man with the one-eyed dog has forgotten what he was going to say.

[JonM229]

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"

"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.

"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."

"No no no no! you misunderstood me. I'm bringing this beer to my wife!" explains Bob.

[ROH522155]

What's the difference between an orange?

[BloodRaven]

So a dyslexic person walks into a bra..

[ROH522155]

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common?

They're both purple except for the rabbit.

[ROH522155]

What's green with yellow wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

[BloodRaven]

Whats blue and fluffy?




















Blue fluff.

[ROH522155]

Haha there are so many hilarious anti jokes but I don't know if I should put some of em on here cuz they might offend people haha.